Traffic ticket

Week evenings, Udin drive motor swiftly at road Sudirman with the friends, the unlucky Udin crenellated by policeman.
Policeman: sorry, at this road is only 60 km/clocks why does brother speed 120 km/clocks?
Udin: yes i am merely spend petrol sir !
Policeman: oh so, if so my brother is traffic ticket, because make time to pass by limitation of speed.
Udin: sorry sir why is the traffic ticket so expensive?
Policeman: yes, i only spend pen ink.

Indonesia
Waktu malam minggu, Udin mengendarai motor dengan cepat di jalan Sudirman bersama teman-temannya, sialnya Udin tertangkap oleh Polisi.
Polisi : Maaf, di jalan ini batas kecepatan hanya 60 km/jam kenapa kecepatan saudara 120 km/jam ?
Udin : Ya saya sekedar menghabiskan bensin saja pak!!!!
Polisi : Oh begitu, kalau begitu saudara saya tilang, karena ngebut melewati batas kecepatan.
Udin : Maaf pak kenapa tilangnya mahal sekali ?
Polisi : Ya, saya hanya menghabiskan tinta pena saja.

My husband is progammer

Before decide to get married with programer think formerly carefully and don't repentant then. So it look carefully conversation between a wife with the husband, a software engineer
Husband: (go home late from office)" good evening pity, now i logged in. #8221;
Wife: Do you bring souvenir I ask?
Husband: Bad command or filename.
Wife: But I say it from last morning!
Husband: Errorneous syntax. abort?
Wife: Then, how about buy new television?
Husband: Variable musical note found. . .
Wife: Ok, if so i ask your credit card. i want expense self.
Husband: Sharing violation. access denied. . .
Wife: Do you more love computer than i? or you only strum?
Husband: Too many parameters. . .
Wife: That is biggest error if i married fool like you.
Husband: Data type mismatch.
Wife: You of no use.
Husband: It’s by default.
Wife: How with your salary?
Husband: File in use. . . try later.
Wife: If so what my position at this family?
Husband: Unknown virus.

Indonesia
Sebelum memutuskan untuk menikah dengan programer pikir dulu masak-masak dan jangan menyesal kemudian. Makanya perhatikan baik-baik percakapan antara seorang istri dengan suaminya, seorang Software Engineer
Suami: (Pulang telat dari kantor) "Selamat malam sayang, sekarang saya logged in.”
Istri: Apakah kamu bawa oleh-oleh yang aku minta?
Suami: Bad command or filename.
Istri: Tapi aku bilangnya dari tadi pagi!
Suami: Errorneous syntax. Abort?
Istri: Terus, bagaimana tentang beli televisi baru?
Suami: Variable not found...
Istri: OK, kalau begitu aku minta kartu kreditmu. Aku mau belanja sendiri saja.
Suami: Sharing Violation. Access denied...
Istri: Apakah kamu lebih mencintai komputer daripada aku? Atau kamu hanya main-main saja?
Suami: Too many parameters...
Istri: Itu kesalahan terbesar kalo saya menikahi orang bodoh sepertimu.
Suami: Data type mismatch.
Istri: Kamu tidak berguna.
Suami: It,s by Default.
Istri: Bagaimana dengan gajimu?
Suami: File in use ... Try later.
Istri: Kalau begitu apa posisiku di keluarga ini?
Suami: Unknown Virus.

Patient

On a certain day, a mother is buying mango at market.
Mother: what one kilogram, sir?
Seller: 20 thousands rupiah
Mother: True expensive?
Seller: Likely sweet, mother, if not sweet may at return.
Mother: Buy one kilogram, sir.
After get home, the mother consumes fist mango obvious sour. second also. third also. Day after the mother will thrash the Seller.
Mother: Base fake! ! know sour, even at say sweet. Here, I return.
Seller: ah, mother. . . new buy one kilogram, sour all angry. I buy 1 sour cart all not angry. . .
Mother: ? ? ?
--
Indonesia
Sabar
Pada suatu hari, seorang ibu sedang beli mangga di Pasar.
IBU : Berapa satu kilo, Pak?
Penjual : 20 ribu rupiah
IBU : Mahal benar?
Penjual : Rasanya manis-manis ,ibu. Kalau tidak manis boleh di kembalikan.
IBU : beli satu kilo, Pak.
Setelah sampai di rumah, si ibu memakan mangga pertama ternyata asam. Yang kedua juga. Yang ketiga juga. Besoknya si ibu melabrak si penjual.
IBU : Dasar penipu !! Sudah tahu kecut, malah di bilang manis. Nih, saya kembalikan.
Penjual : Ah, ibu... baru beli satu kilo, kecut semua sudah marah. Saya beli 1 gerobak kecut semua tidak marah...
IBU : ???

Daredevil

Grandfather:
Grandfather war age formerly a daredevil. Enemy time via, grandfather attacks.
Enemy time assaults, grandfather friend in blurred, grandfather not.
Grandchild:
Great grandfather, why does grandfather not come along blurred?
Grandfather:
How want blurred, enemy weapon in grandfather head.
Grandchild:
hmmm. . . . . ? ? !
--
Indonesia
OPA : Jaman perang OPA dulu seorang pemberani. Waktu musuh lewat, OPA serang. Waktu musuh menyerang, kawan OPA pada kabur, OPA tidak.
CUCU : Hebat opa, kenapa opa tidak ikut kabur?
OPA : Bagaimana mau kabur, senjata musuh ada di kepala OPA.
CUCU : hmmm.....??!